How can two weeks have blown by so fast? Or has it been three? I can’t keep track, lately… I’ve just been a big ball of pleasure with orgasms on top. Lots of orgasms.
The other night, I had trouble falling asleep and as I tossed & turned, it dawned on me that I was carrying some tension in my face… Turns out, I was smiling! Yes, my cheeks were pulled back in a happy grin, totally unconscious. I have been THAT delighted by my life these days.
Crazy! To think just when I was ready to throw in the towel on Professor, just when I’d given up on enjoying the Animator’s erotic charms… suddenly, things came together perfectly. I guess all I had to do was decide what I wanted, and go for it. I might not be living conventionally or even particularly honestly, at that — but I am having a FANTASTIC time.
Do I feel guilty about Professor? Kind of. But on the other hand, it’s not like I didn’t let him know, flat-out, that I needed more foreplay & intimacy from him. Evidently, sex isn’t a big deal for him, or else he’d put forth some effort towards pleasing me. But outside the bedroom, he’s kind and sweet and caring and reliable and smart and funny… The perfect guy for me. Which is why I didn’t wanna let him go in January.
Funny, how Professor didn’t work as a friend with benefits, though. It was weird dating other guys, and then going home to him. Backwards, really. He’s “boyfriend” material, not a “fuck buddy,” but then, I’m glad we went down that road because it’s like he started this friends-with-benefits thing. I just flipped it around. He gets even more of me, now.
And, frankly, I think I’m a better girlfriend because of this arrangement. Now, when he pushes into me without foreplay, I don’t sweat it cause I know that I’ll get loved on soon enough from the Animator. In fact, I have been so well-sexed lately that I am delighted to offer Professor my body whenever he wants it — he’s a terrific boyfriend, if I’m not obsessing about why he’s not touching me.
My only issue so far is feeling like I’m living a double life. Gotta make some adjustments, like, I turn my phone off when he’s not around, which feels kinda sneaky but on the other hand, I don’t wanna rock this boat. I get the feeling he’d be a lot less cool with my running off to do “errands” (#1 excuse when I’m seeing the Animator) if I were also taking private calls/texts all the time. So when Professor is in the house, I’m all about him.
I also make sure I cook & clean & keep the place extra nice… Again, I think I may be compensating, trying to balance out my relationship dalliances by excelling in domestic operations. Seems to be working. And, for his part, I couldn’t ask for a more focused, attentive partner.
I love him, seriously. I even love fucking him these days — his gentle, purposeful plodding feels so earnest & sincere I just wanna hug him to me… Sometimes, I fantasize that I’m a hooker, and he’s a dear, sweet John that I treat like a king. And why not? He’s opened his home & his heart to me. It’s not his fault he’s so bad at sex. Everyone has their hang-ups, I’m kinda glad his is one I can get so easily around.