When it comes to sex, not everything is as black and white as being in a relationship or having a one night stand.  Sometimes people are looking for something a little in-between, like being friends with benefits.  Just as it sounds, ‘friends with benefits’ are two (or more) people that are just friends, but also share the benefit of a sexual relationship with no emotional strings attached.

There are many reasons why people like to be in ‘friends with benefits’ scenarios. Some people want to get their sexual needs met without going through the whole rigmarole of dating, or randomly hooking up with someone they don’t know.  Others realize that they have sexual chemistry with a friend and want to explore with someone they trust.  And sometimes it comes down to simply not wanting to be in a serious relationship.  Unlike a casual sex or dating relationship, there is little to no possibility that a friends with benefits situation will turn into anything more.

As enjoyable and easy as it sounds to hook up with your friends, it’s not an arrangement for everyone.  In friendship, people can form emotional and intimate bonds, and adding sex to that dynamic can change the nature of your friendship in both positive and negative ways.  When deciding if being friends with benefits is right for you, think about asking yourself how you would feel if adding sex ends up damaging your friendship.  Or how you would react if your friend wants to become more than just friends with benefits.  These are two real scenarios that can happen and you should think about them before getting into a friends with benefits agreement.

You may find that adding a sexual component to your friendship strengthens your connection and works for both of you.  Or just meets both your sexual needs in a comfortable and satisfying way.  On the other hand, friends with benefits scenarios don’t work when emotions become involved and one person begins to care for the other in a more intimate way.  If both folks realize there is more to their relationship than just friendship and sex, they can decide to go forward with a more serious relationship, but when only one person feels a stronger pull, it usually leads to the end of the friends with benefits experience.

If you are thinking of turning a friendship into something a little more sexy, here are a few guidelines that may help you navigate the waters:

- First, never get into a friends with benefits relationship with somebody you have romantic feelings for.  This is not a romantic situation and if you begin having sex with other thoughts in mind, you will be disappointed.

- Don’t get into a friends with benefits agreement with a friend you couldn’t stand to lose.  Being friends with benefits has no hard and fast rule book and if you change the dynamic of your relationship, it may never be able to return to that state.

- Make sure you keep the lines of communication open with each other and be sure to ‘check in’ periodically to make sure you both are on the same page.  And if it turns out you are not on the same page, talk it over and get to a place that works for both of you.

-  If you realize that one of you wants more than friends with benefits can offer, stop sleeping with each other before someone gets hurt.  This is your friend you are dealing with and the last thing you want is hurt feelings and broken bridges.

- If the sex isn’t what you, or they, are looking for, you are free to end it.  Why bother having sex that doesn’t interest you if you are not in a romantic relationship with the person?

All in all, being friends with benefits can be exciting and fun, without the headache of finding a partner or cultivating a serious relationship.